This is a transcript from a wall post of MGMT performing: "Brian Eno" on Letterman.
LAXPRO1: pretty terrible
Me: Lie
LAXPRO1: i dontthink so
Me: I know so
LAXPRO1: it was probably one of the worst things ive ever seen
Me: Again, lie.
LAXPRO1: okay u can shutup now
Me: Good one.
LAXPRO1: thanx buddy. it really wasnt a insult but okay
Me: Ha! "Thanx". Good one.
LAXPRO1: k
Now initially the conversation could have ended here...but no.
LAXPRO1: ur pretty good at being a fag
Me: Ooh "fag" very original.
LAXPRO1: how much u weighing in at 350-375?
Me: Okay so let me check. "fag", check. "weight" check. Are you going to keep with this trend or spruce it up a bit? Maybe call me four eyes?
LAXPRO1: four eyes.
Me: Fantastic. Alright lets see what we have left for "generic insult terms". Hmmm. Okay. How about...you do have a yo momma joke left. Also "douchebag" and "homo" are still on the board. Lets see if you can really heat things up.
LAXPRO1: u dont need to write essays on the comments board
And then Joe comes in...
Joe: So how are things on Jersey Shore, anyway?
LAXPRO1: wtf?
Joe: You're part of the cast, right?
LAXPRO1: wat r u talking about
Joe: Well you've got the lack of education and general annoyingness, so I just put two and two together.
LAXPRO1: so im guessing u dont watch jersey shore?
And then LAXPRO2 comes in. They're basically the same person, just different names.
LAXPRO2: 0:08....thats how far i got into it before i burnt my eyes.
LAXPRO1: Well Joe, you've got the lack of education and general annoyingness, so I just put two and two together.
LAXPRO2: and also joe...i bet u cant even put two and two together.
Joe: So you honestly couldn't even come up with a new insult? You had to copy and paste my own? Nice work on using capital letters by the way.
LAXPRO1: we have a teacher here in this conversation. wat a tool
Wow. A teacher comment. I didn't know this was 1953.
Joe: "Wat a tool" Oh, the irony.
LAXPRO1: i know u and ur buddy with ur quotations around everything and ur gay glasses
LAXPRO2: conor i think your mom was high when she named you. normally when you spell conner it has two freaken n's
LAXPRO2 disappeared after this. Probably to go watch the Hangover for the fiftieth time.
Joe: I could easily say the same about you, Jimmy. You and your buddy with your unoriginal insults and use of 'fag' every two minutes.
LAXPRO1: ok joe lets here some of ur educational insults
Joe: You want to "here" them?
LAXPRO1: (obviously not noticing his fuck-up) yea
Joe: Well I think I've wasted most of them on you already.
LAXPRO1: wow
Joe: You're REALLY reaching now, aren't you?
LAXPRO1: so ur jokes are quoting things and repeating wat i say
Joe: I thought the repeating was your department.
LAXPRO1: see right there. the word department is not needed
Joe: Oh! I'm sorry. Words longer than four letters really confuse you. I apologize. Woops, that's 9 letters!
LAXPRO1: good one
LAXPRO1: just cause u go to mendricken doesnt mean shit (like we've been raving about it)
Joe: So back to the gay jokes, huh?
LAXPRO1: yup. right about now ur probably getting a BJ from a dude.
LAXPRO1: and probably is a 8 letter word bitch
Joe: I'm so proud. Gold star for you.
LAXPRO1: u and ur sarcasim r terrible
Joe: No, no. I'm really proud. That's the most effort you've put into this whole conversation.
LAXPRO1: r u friends with that conor kid?
Joe: Not particularly. We're acquaintances. "ac·quain·tance (n) Knowledge of a person acquired by a relationship less intimate than friendship."
LAXPRO1: ass wipe - Joe Zaydon. and u two r probably fucking right now (hold on a second, another gay joke! out of nowhere!)
Joe: So is asswipe a noun, verb, adjective? You're kinda leaving me in the dark here.
LAXPRO1: noun
Joe: Thanks
LAXPRO1: have fun at ur sausage party i got to go
Joe: Okay, but let me say one thing.
Then came the greatest thing I've ever read:
Joe: I'm sorry. I'm sorry about this. I'm sorry you were most likely the spawn of a bad night, too much vodka, and an empty coat closet. I'm sorry your parents had to buy you into high school. I'm sorry your vocabularly doesn't extend beyond that of a 7th grader. I'm sorry I made you read long words that must make your head hurt. I'm sorry I wasted your "valuable" time. So make your gay jokes, and glasses jokes, and whatever unoriginal jokes you got. Just know that I really don't give two shits. You wouldn't say any of this in person I bet. So, that in mind, have a good afternoon, sir.
P.S. Would you like me to bring you a cut of sausage from sausage fest
And LAXPRO1 couldn't let him have the last word.
LAXPRO1: that was great. and u cant buy someone in high school nice try
Joe: Thanks. It would be funnier if it wasn't true. And yes, you can buy someone into school. Ask any of your family members.
LAXPRO1: not public schools. and its funnier that i dont drink or smoke. so just go suck on conor's cock (gay joke? way out of left field)
LAXPRO1: good athletes dont smoke or drink. but ur probably terrible at sports.
And that was that. All because he didn't like an MGMT song.
LAXPRO1: pretty terrible
Me: Lie
LAXPRO1: i dontthink so
Me: I know so
LAXPRO1: it was probably one of the worst things ive ever seen
Me: Again, lie.
LAXPRO1: okay u can shutup now
Me: Good one.
LAXPRO1: thanx buddy. it really wasnt a insult but okay
Me: Ha! "Thanx". Good one.
LAXPRO1: k
Now initially the conversation could have ended here...but no.
LAXPRO1: ur pretty good at being a fag
Me: Ooh "fag" very original.
LAXPRO1: how much u weighing in at 350-375?
Me: Okay so let me check. "fag", check. "weight" check. Are you going to keep with this trend or spruce it up a bit? Maybe call me four eyes?
LAXPRO1: four eyes.
Me: Fantastic. Alright lets see what we have left for "generic insult terms". Hmmm. Okay. How about...you do have a yo momma joke left. Also "douchebag" and "homo" are still on the board. Lets see if you can really heat things up.
LAXPRO1: u dont need to write essays on the comments board
And then Joe comes in...
Joe: So how are things on Jersey Shore, anyway?
LAXPRO1: wtf?
Joe: You're part of the cast, right?
LAXPRO1: wat r u talking about
Joe: Well you've got the lack of education and general annoyingness, so I just put two and two together.
LAXPRO1: so im guessing u dont watch jersey shore?
And then LAXPRO2 comes in. They're basically the same person, just different names.
LAXPRO2: 0:08....thats how far i got into it before i burnt my eyes.
LAXPRO1: Well Joe, you've got the lack of education and general annoyingness, so I just put two and two together.
LAXPRO2: and also joe...i bet u cant even put two and two together.
Joe: So you honestly couldn't even come up with a new insult? You had to copy and paste my own? Nice work on using capital letters by the way.
LAXPRO1: we have a teacher here in this conversation. wat a tool
Wow. A teacher comment. I didn't know this was 1953.
Joe: "Wat a tool" Oh, the irony.
LAXPRO1: i know u and ur buddy with ur quotations around everything and ur gay glasses
LAXPRO2: conor i think your mom was high when she named you. normally when you spell conner it has two freaken n's
LAXPRO2 disappeared after this. Probably to go watch the Hangover for the fiftieth time.
Joe: I could easily say the same about you, Jimmy. You and your buddy with your unoriginal insults and use of 'fag' every two minutes.
LAXPRO1: ok joe lets here some of ur educational insults
Joe: You want to "here" them?
LAXPRO1: (obviously not noticing his fuck-up) yea
Joe: Well I think I've wasted most of them on you already.
LAXPRO1: wow
Joe: You're REALLY reaching now, aren't you?
LAXPRO1: so ur jokes are quoting things and repeating wat i say
Joe: I thought the repeating was your department.
LAXPRO1: see right there. the word department is not needed
Joe: Oh! I'm sorry. Words longer than four letters really confuse you. I apologize. Woops, that's 9 letters!
LAXPRO1: good one
LAXPRO1: just cause u go to mendricken doesnt mean shit (like we've been raving about it)
Joe: So back to the gay jokes, huh?
LAXPRO1: yup. right about now ur probably getting a BJ from a dude.
LAXPRO1: and probably is a 8 letter word bitch
Joe: I'm so proud. Gold star for you.
LAXPRO1: u and ur sarcasim r terrible
Joe: No, no. I'm really proud. That's the most effort you've put into this whole conversation.
LAXPRO1: r u friends with that conor kid?
Joe: Not particularly. We're acquaintances. "ac·quain·tance (n) Knowledge of a person acquired by a relationship less intimate than friendship."
LAXPRO1: ass wipe - Joe Zaydon. and u two r probably fucking right now (hold on a second, another gay joke! out of nowhere!)
Joe: So is asswipe a noun, verb, adjective? You're kinda leaving me in the dark here.
LAXPRO1: noun
Joe: Thanks
LAXPRO1: have fun at ur sausage party i got to go
Joe: Okay, but let me say one thing.
Then came the greatest thing I've ever read:
Joe: I'm sorry. I'm sorry about this. I'm sorry you were most likely the spawn of a bad night, too much vodka, and an empty coat closet. I'm sorry your parents had to buy you into high school. I'm sorry your vocabularly doesn't extend beyond that of a 7th grader. I'm sorry I made you read long words that must make your head hurt. I'm sorry I wasted your "valuable" time. So make your gay jokes, and glasses jokes, and whatever unoriginal jokes you got. Just know that I really don't give two shits. You wouldn't say any of this in person I bet. So, that in mind, have a good afternoon, sir.
P.S. Would you like me to bring you a cut of sausage from sausage fest
And LAXPRO1 couldn't let him have the last word.
LAXPRO1: that was great. and u cant buy someone in high school nice try
Joe: Thanks. It would be funnier if it wasn't true. And yes, you can buy someone into school. Ask any of your family members.
LAXPRO1: not public schools. and its funnier that i dont drink or smoke. so just go suck on conor's cock (gay joke? way out of left field)
LAXPRO1: good athletes dont smoke or drink. but ur probably terrible at sports.
And that was that. All because he didn't like an MGMT song.